In and out

Arrived have the weeks, when I almost forget, that interiors are my foremost passion. 

I am occupied with all the others: my family
(as always), the garden in spring, cooking, reading and writing. I feel like these busy birds in my backyard: RUSH to make it all happen, before the season ends....
I have planted roses and enjoy the lilacs, which are at the height of their splendor, as are the azaleas. 

The young oak tree has grown another foot or two and stretches way above the fence. 

Blackbird singing in the bush under my window at 5 AM

I wake up at 5 in the morning and watch the cardinals flit between the branches of the Japanese maple, the robins with their youngster hoping on the lawn, test flying....

And the neighbor's cat needs to be kept in check, I watch out for him all the time, last year he ate the nest full of chicks when I wasn't looking. : (

But still, I have been also silently watching the interior design books at my local store and online and, as always, I find some, which have drawn me in....

I have had again a late night affair with  Susanna Salk's 'Be Your Own Decorator', a book which I have had for a while and always go back to. It so encircles my own design philosophy and style. A wonderful mix of old and new, precious and mundane, flee market and heritage pieces. Fabrics and wallpapers. It's like finding a soul sister, again.
Could that be my house? Yes.... but a little enhanced, I have to admit : )))

Well, I've got the tulips....

And another enticing one, which I am waiting for, being on route... Nicky Haslam's 'Folly De Grandeur'! I feel like flying to England and spending the summer in this house.

What else have I been reading?
Gwyneth Paltrow's latest cook book, which has gotten already much use:

Her recipes are largely vegan or vegetarian based, often gluten and dairy free. There are a couple of great meat dishes and splendid deserts. But all are so appetizing and the book is also wonderfully written.   

I just met Alexandra Aldrich at a book reading in my neighborhood and have been devouring her unusual story of her childhood, filled with memories of the faded glory of the once grand Astor family. At least her family branch is the faded one....  It is very interesting. 

Another find is this one, 'The Camomile Lawn' by the British authoress Mary Wesley. I am fascinated by her writing. She began in earnest to publish when she was over 70! Yes, you read that right. She died at 90 in 2002 and had more then 9 novels out in the years between.

And the latest RH catalog arrived at my doorstep, weighting a ton, but having a few treasures of it's own, worth a post by itself. But since I am so very busy, I will send you here, and show you a few images to wet your appetite.

There are different sections, for which I am grateful, like Small Spaces (which still seem rather large...) and Objects of Curiosity. Which I love! Check it out...

So long, I am off to shop for our cooking session this afternoon: My daughter  and her friend will make Gnocchi
from scratch.... Hmm. I'll give them a hand...or two!


xoxo





Images by V.Zlotkowski and the RH website (last four).

Where have I been?

It's been a long, long time, I think one of the longest blogging breaks I have been taken, partly involuntary, partly deliberately. Projects around the house, work with clients, other work and visiting family have been distracting me to the point where I felt I could not take another moment writing about it all.
Life has changed here, living without our dog still impacts us and the decision not to have another pet has also kind of made an impact...

Where did I leave off? Our outdoor house project, which had been originally initiated by storm Sandy and started in mid December, has finally been completed. 

Before:

The old front design did not do much in bad weather or a hot summer day.

And now:

Now in rain, snow or sunshine, there is protection from the elements.

A new roof and a newly designed (by yours truly) portico give the house new balance and added protection from the environment. It is a huge success and seems to attract all kind of attention in the neighborhood. Which makes me smile every time! It took us a long time to arrive at this point.

On a recent winter evening

After this we have moved inside and, although there is more work to be done, a few important things have changed here too. For starters we cleaned out and insulated our attic. 

Together with the new roof this has impacted our heating bill, which went down a good 20% since January. And it has been cold. The kids have complained about to warm of  rooms over night, something we've never heard before.
We feel the house is warmer altogether and that is a big difference. We also exchanged the attic vents, so they close in the winter. All things you might think we've had done years ago, but no....

I painted our hallway August 2009

Next week we also going to have two rooms painted professionally. YEAH! The family room, below, which had been effected by Sandy and needed a window replaced and our hallway, which had been done a few years back by me and needs a makeover badly. It will not make that space larger, but we always feel refreshed, when we change colors....we picked coral...

Major spring cleaning mess...

But in the meantime I also had energy for a good spring cleaning, which for the first time in many years was done, to my utmost surprise, with a swift hand and lots of parting from things, I thought I will never let go off. The result is an enormous feeling of relief.
And a clean living space.

The old trunk was a lucky curb find! A second, smaller one was snatched by my daughter for all her gadgets.

Another find: The Lamp base. One man's trash is another one's treasure. Indeed! I just fixed a tiny broken leg, here still missing.

The Ficus tree lives outdoors from spring until autumn.

We just love it!

The book shelf extends through the entire length of the room, which is most
helpful with a tiny kitchen. I keep china and glasses there as well.

(The color we've chosen is only a few shades darker then this one, no major change.)

Many books, old magazines, junk and leftovers from odd projects went away and it makes me happy to see suddenly more space where I thought I had none. I only hold on to things I need desperately to remember: Moments back in my life. Which still seems more then enough!
But I am so inspired, next I'll move to our bedrooms to take the closets apart.....

Morning smoothie, bananas, berries, coconut water and more....

The change of lifestyle, which I had begun exactly one year ago has also impacted our family, my husband has joined me now in a quest for healthier eating/living. We are now 70% raw, largely wheat free and mostly vegetarian and we have never felt better. Weight loss has only played partly a role in it, but the changes in our health have been lasting and amazing. My husband's heart pain has been gone since last year and has not returned, my joint pain, back pain and mood swings are all things of the past as well. Especially as a woman approaching menopause, there are countless benefits! I have so much more energy and this has made perhaps the biggest impact in our family life. And we have tackled issues, we never thought we would. It has been a great journey so far and we will stick to it! The great thing is, it never feels like a sacrifice or limitation. We do splurge on occasions and love coffee and chocolate (70% and up, lol) and the occasional glass of wine, as much as anybody else. We've realized over the last year that many shops and restaurants have jumped on the bandwagon of this healthier lifestyle and to ask for certain foods has never been easier. We find juices, smoothies and raw foods and is is rather amusing how I started this a year ago with not many knowing much about it and now almost no weekend passes, where I cannot read something or other raw food related in the WSJ, NY Times or different lifestyle magazines! OK, it must have hit main stream...which is actually really good! Give it a try! There is also a large online community, ready to help and connect with!

With my soul mate, together for more then 20 years! I am a lucky woman!

I have a feeling all these changes in my life are wonderfully connected and to be able to leave things behind is also the result of my new lifestyle. I feel empowered and ready to go another 50 years.....And I am grateful that I met this challenge and succeeded.

Things are good around here and this is thankfully not impacted by setbacks, like the lost project, which I had been working on for the last few weeks and the clients pulled out because they felt it is too big an undertaking to get their minds around. I can relate....
But when one door closes another will open and something will come my way.
You will be the first to know....

I apologize for this enormous long post, which surely will test you patience. But it only shows how much I missed talking to you all! I will come back to write and read all your posts, my (blog) friends. I've missed you.



xoxo 
Victoria





All images via Art House Design by V.Zlotkowski

The future

We have been living in our house for a dozen years now and we have changed little in the grand scheme of things. Our house is colorful, spontaneously adapting to continuously arising problems, typical of old, but not so charming homes. 
This house is filled with many makeshift fixes, waiting for the break through renovations, which might never happen. My desire to change clashes often hard with the necessities at hand and the limits in our budget. Which cannot be helped.  The hoped for changes at home reflect my personal, I have departed quite far from who I used to be, even four, five years ago. 

Departed from once so harmonious ideas of how to live in this space. Less is now more appealing. Different rooms and different colors, different pieces would reflect so much better my different needs and who I am today.... They should be the fitting background to my stage in life, on which I perform daily.

I do not want to change everything. But some essential things. I admit, much more essential to me.
I do not always see eye to eye with my husband. He is in no hurry, least need for any change. He is happy with most around him and tells me to get occupied with other things, so I will stop nagging. His preferences lay elsewhere to begin with. He does not see peeling wallpapers or mildew in the bathrooms, he is seemingly oblivious to many things in need of improvement. Oh, my happy man!

Repairs we have to defer to later, due to other pressing issues and needs. And my reading of design blogs does not help at all. On the contrary. Regularly I read about massive improvements. No blogs are written about the lack of it.  Oftentimes it leaves me drained lately. I have to remind myself that these renovating mavens are a minority among the many folks, just living their common lives...making ends meet.

The irony of being so interested in design, but being incapable of acting on it sooner then later, is not lost on me. I am a dreamer, but this often comes close to self inflicted torture. I am certainly in no need for extra motivation.
There are endless scenarios which play out in my head, from better bathrooms to a modern kitchen, finished guest quarters in the basement, which has been a stepchild to us, playing evil mental games of let's pretend. I am so tired of it. 

Shall I surrender to the facts of life and remain silent from now on? I have to pinch myself to stay focused on the things at hand... To take every day and make the best out of it....
Are these the rantings of a suburban housewife with no other problems? I can assure you, it is not. I am busy with many things, some even involve making money. 
Am I sure I am the same person talking of Thanksgiving only a few days ago? These reminders are not forgotten, but there is this, the darker side, something else which needs to be voiced as well. 

Clouds over the Green House

There is a new roof coming after all. Soon. And I try to make the best of it, hoping to sneak in some changes, hoping it will pass muster. And the budget, of course. Why does everything have to be so expensive? I am not talking about the fancy stuff anymore. Contractors take much more then I do per hour. There would be no chance for me at all, if I would insist on these charges.

At Perch, New Orleans

I have been thinking hard about all that, feeling partly guilty of being so difficult and partly virtuous about me and my, hopefully, more self-controlled complaining, bitchy self.   
Now I have concluded I should try a different route. I'll will begin with myself. Begin to change on my end, free of cost and with a little more hope of success. Not the bathrooms, for I am not capable of such handiwork, but with the closets, the clutter. The stuff. 

The endless magazines, which have held my dreams and for that reason I could never part with them. As if I would loose the actual things, I so desire, by parting with these pages. The hoarded bits and pieces, which will never make it into once dreamed up projects. Unfinished THINGS, resisting for years and years under the bed and in dark corners of the basement, waiting to be discovered. All which have filled me with restless desire and pain. Constant, highly unpleasant reminders of unfinished business. They have become memories of past yearnings, ideas, with which I should have parted long ago. They have become millstones, which drag me under water. I realize that so many THINGS are connected to our 'selves', our being us, which led me to believe they are me. I am thinking about these, who loose everything through terrible events, or the cards of life, dealt to them. These unfortunate ones, might they actually gain eventually some wisdom, which is still avoiding me? Or are they simply endlessly suffering and missing things? 
Perhaps I'll learn finally to look inside myself for those THINGS, I desire on the outside?
I have read many books, stories of mindfulness and the practical help books, the un-clutter your space books and the ones pertaining to the 'un-clutter your mind'.
Where is that knowledge in my head? It takes more then reading, experiencing it on my own has always been the best way for me. Unfortunately I seem not capable of changing by theories and thinking about it alone. Learning for me is by doing. I do not want to loose the peace in my four walls, and the fine balance with my husband, who lives rather happily in the house, which is our home. 

That sunny window

This will surely be a departure not free of pain and some doubts, perhaps some regrets of leaving something behind, which I might miss later? I am a little scared of the implied consequences. But there is no change without loss along the way. What I hope to find is better balance of wants and needs in the long run. And a more clutter free existence. I feel, I can do that, but I still need to convince myself of my capability to pull through. To come out the other end with a different feeling and state of mind.
I am sure, I am not the only one suffering from imbalanced and painful hopes and desires, from dreams, we should wake up from not depressed but actually strengthened.
And to be at peace. This is my desire now. And in the future.

Our trees in spring

xoxo

Images byV. Zlotkowski

Late late late autumn

{via}

As much as everywhere the next holidays are pushed, I am not quite ready for this... Traditional we are decking the halls not before the first Advent Sunday, which gives me still about 8 days without preparing for Christmas. 
I want to stretch these days, hold on to the late, late, late autumn days. 

Still making the few in between days after Thanksgiving count. I do love the early Christmas time, but also waiting until up to the moment. 

It seems allover to arrive a little earlier each year. Often I joke why not to keep the stuff up around all year, why bother? A little earlier to  shop a little longer, so I guess. It annoys me to see, how commercial reasons push us in the fast lanes. I refuse as usual and manage to overlook the early Christmas craze.

Of course I am thinking of the holidays long before these days, sometimes in summer and make my lists for the children, or my husband and friends....
But deep inside and at home I wait, wait for the first truly icy days, when I see the frozen garden holding still in the blue light of a late afternoon in early December, when chickadees and bluebirds begin to show up in my backyard for the morsels I lay out for them on the deck.

When on mornings around four the fox slowly makes his way through our garden and neighbor's cats look unsuccessful for chipmunks, now safely buried deep in their small cozy dens.

Then I feel the moment is right to pick evergreens to fill buckets and wreaths to hang on the doors and windows, to find the smoking man and stockings, more candles then at other times and to listen to Bach's cantatas or oratorios. 
Then the time is right for me to get ready for the next holidays...
Maybe it's because I am getting older that I want the time less and less to fly....

Until then I work, clean, order, catch up, finish with things I feel I need to complete this year, which passes, faster and faster.
Slow down, I think.
Do you feel like me?






Images as indicated and by V.Zlotkowski